can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
