This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
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Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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