any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
