Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
