Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I pour the whiskey from now on
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize