whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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