My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
