Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize