You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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