it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
