The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize