I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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