come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
