another moral hangover. fuck.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
