yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
