Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
