I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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