he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
