I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize