They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Randomize