I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize