11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
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He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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