we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
