You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize