Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
