i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
