Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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