Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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