he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
