im about as happy as oj after his trial
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
