Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
