my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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