I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
