what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
