also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
