im holly from the hills drunk
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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