I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
