I puked a lego.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
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Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
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Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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