apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
