pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
