i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
