I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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