You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
