Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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