I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
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Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
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I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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