She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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