I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
