we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
