Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
