remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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