Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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