Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
