I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
