Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
