Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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