everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
