some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Never underestimate the power of titties
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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