I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
