Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
