Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize