As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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