definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
